I am feeling a bit cynical. Not as cynical as I could be though. I think after the breakup I've been concentrating on exactly what I write in my LJ. I'm considering other people too much when I write in my own journal, which is just fucked up. I don't want to start any flame wars or unnecessary debates, but I won't apologize for my opinion or my Life. There's something to be said about politely entertaining others' opinions, but there's also something to be said about worrying too much what people online think of you. Other than that, things are looking generally good, but that's for a private entry.

That title's been floating around my head for awhile, and I haven't had a public entry in awhile, so there ya go.

Current Mood: cynical

I heard back from some of my voice over leads. One of them is a news anchor here for CBS channel 8 who said he wanted to help me and sent a hundred blogs and articles and ads for people who aren't really anybody. One of the links was for www.vo-bb.com, which, ironically (and sadly) enough, has a voice over on a little flash intro. I was looking for a way to mock this with Evan, but it seems LJ phone posting is it for now, so I made a public entry. Evan and I are having a long conversation on gmail chat. Maybe I'm pretentious, and if I am I don't really give a shit, but mostly I'm venting about my disappointment in the game that people in the industry get wrapped up in.

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Me:	Alrighy.
	10:15.
	STOP!
Evan:	Hammer time?
Me:	Shower time.
Evan:	*smacks you*
	Never use MC Hammer's name in vain like that.

VoicePost 378K 1:57

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Good Will Hunting Written by Matt Damon & Ben Affleck Will (Matt Damon): You're a first year grad student. You just got finished reading some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon, then you're gonna be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna' last until next year, you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talking about ya know, the Pre-Revolutionary utopia and the capital forming effects of military mobilization. Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth. You got that from Vickers. "Work in Essex County," page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you going to plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you? Is that you thing? You come into a bar, you read some obscure passage, and then pretend. You pawn it off as your own, as your own idea just to impress some girl and embarrass my friend? You see, the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years, you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One: don't do that. And two: you dropped a 150 grand on a fuckin’ education you could have gotten for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library. Yeah, I won’t have a degree, but at least I won't be unoriginal.

I don't know if I've said it before, but I think Tamarus is a really cool street name.

My parents arrive for a three-day stay tomorrow. (They're staying at Excalibur.) I'm cleaning my apartment a bit before they get here. Swiffer Wet Jet is rocking my world. It's perfect for what I need. Even goes under open doors.

I always said that if they were to make a movie of Mega Man, Wayne Newton should play Mega Man. No one ever believes me. Well who's laughing now?!

Happy birthday, tania!

Been stuck in my head:

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Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Nom Nom Nom (YouTube)

I had a dream the other day that alligators were eating my keys. I found this to be an odd dream, so I looked up the symbology. Apparently alligators represent fear of an unfavorable reaction to something you do or say, and keys represent communication or access with somebody. It makes sense. I've been tapering off LJ lately. It used to be I'd make three or four reports each day to write down my thoughts and feelings, and in so doing I'd understand them better. But then I got the feeling anybody on my friends list was judging me for any passing thought, and I felt like I had to justify any choice I made, so I started putting a lot into private entries. Now I'm just posting less. I catch up on my friends page every-other day or so now, but I get the feeling people will take offense to any support, advice, or input I have to offer, when I'm just trying to be a friend.

So... I read, but I skim, and I post, but it's private. I used to want to open up and share myself with all my online friends, most of whom go way back with me, but now it seems like it's none of anybody's business. :P I worry that I'll get LJ comments, and then I worry that I won't get LJ comments, and then I realize it's totally stupid and solve the problem by disabling comments or making the entry private. I... guess I just don't trust my online friends as much anymore. No offense folks, I'm just not as comfortable putting myself on the Internet as much. I do want to meet people on my friends list and have the friendship be more than 1s and 0s, but I was always the only one, and if that ever happens, it makes me mighty vulnerable. I keep hoping that one day soon I'll just be more self confident and won't really care what people online think, but for now I still care too much about them/you all to make emotionally-involved entries. This one is a bit scary for me now.

I went to Peter Piper Pizza yesterday with Lindsey. I haven't been there since I was a kid. They pulled them all out of Utah. The pizza was just as good as I remembered, but the arcade games were just as lame as I expected. I wasted the rest of my tokens on crooked claw games.

I went to an initial services job yesterday but had to bid it because it was over the allowable. It's a nice house too, but I need approval before I can proceed. The coordinator on the order wasn't in, so I said I'd provide written bids, which I should have done yesterday but really will force myself to do this morning. As soon as I get a break from work, I get another that needs to be done two days later, and usually I'm busy with other orders or laundry or such.

I'm actually almost out of money and have requested another $2,000 buffer from my parents while I wait for checks in the mail. Got a reply just now actually, About the $2000 loan. I understand the pinch you're in and yes, we can help out. I'll transfer $2000 to your personal account right away. Again, Michael and I are very proud of you and think you're doing awesome. I'm very appreciative of the closeness and openness I have with my parents now. I didn't used to be able to let them see me, but when I moved to Vegas, I also was able to sort out years of twisting and knotting in my parental relationship. Not many people get a second chance after they lose their parents.

My T-Mobile phone is dead. I recycled the battery at Office Depot and enjoyed ripping the phone in twain with my bare hands. One less bill to pay.

I love driving the Subaru after a week or so of driving just the truck. It's so heavy and handles well. It's like driving a Porsche again. I got my first Vegas car wash after three months of living in the dirt. I was nervous about the brooms they used scratching my paint and the conveyor belt screwing with my AWD, since when one tire on a Subby rotates, they all have to. But they actually did a really good job cleaning it.

I got a new reusable bag from Albertson's for when I go grocery shopping. Something printed on the bag (and I don't remember what now) makes me almost regret that choice. I'm just trying to cut down on plastic, not pledge support for... tofu.

I bought $25 worth of junk food from the Shell station across the street the other day. I wonder if I'm not addicted. That's the second time I did something like that. I should probably go a week without junk food starting Sunday just to be sure.

Current Mood: nervous

I'm nearly done with the shelves. The plyboard is a little flimsy, and I'm thinking of just laying another layer on plyboard over each shelf for support, but I don't intend of keeping anything overly heavy on the shelves. I went to Lowes three times in one day for nuts and bolts. Some of the nuts in the drawer are inferior and won't screw onto the bolts. I went back and stole a few better nuts on one of my trips. I still felt they owed me for gas and effort. But maybe it was karma that I had to go back twice more and get more nuts and bolts because I was distracted and miscounted what I needed.

I'm just about caught up with work. There's one cup-shaped thing I need to remove from a property, but that won't take long. I'm getting worried I won't get any big trashouts. My invoices for March total almost $5,000 which is my gross goal, but then in April (when I've run out of money) I'm going to start calculating cost too, and that's what worries me. I can't live off of grass cuts alone. They really hurt my wrist after awhile, and I've got a really dark tan on my forearms and neck. It's not worth going all over the valley to trim weeds every day. I think I'll email FAS and let them know I'm looking for initial services orders.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Learn about the Force (John Williams)

The universe is right right now. Everything is as it should be.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: WALL-E's hat dance (in my head)

! :DDDDDDDDD

In other news, I still say, "In other news..." I decided I earned that phrase when I kept getting up at 4:00 in the morning to work camera for studio television news. I also earned the right to say "howdy," by being a cowboy. I earned "No worries," from being a TLK fan (Hakuna Matata) and "She/he/it will be right," by <3ing Australia enough and liking vegemite. One day, with enough CGI Clone Wars I may earn, "Elsewhere in the universe..." Anyway, in other news, my old cell phone 916-6004 is a goner. I've had it since 2005, which really isn't that long all things considered, but I liked the number. Nine-one six-six double-oh-four. I'm also supposed to lose my XM subscription trial today, but so far it's just stuck on the 80s station.

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: Handbags and Gladrags (Stereophonics)

(That means you, jesskat.) Check out this street I found today:

Even has a U in colour. :P

---

In other news, I've been playing RE 5 online with Ryan the last couple of nights, and it's awesome. We're planning to play again tonight. Since I was t_pwesome at RE 4, RE 5 is second nature. I remember when I was on a quest to beat RE 4 with only saving at the end of each chapter (like five times throughout the game). Then I decided there were other things I should do with my time, other/new video games to play at the least.

My 35241 locks arrived on Thursday, as did my electric lock pick. It looks like a lightsaber handle. I installed a key lock on my bedroom door last night/this morning, and picked it. It took about 45 minutes, but I did it. I wonder if I could pick the lock on my truck. It may have been handy on the Death Valley trip when I locked myself out, but I think that worked out about as well as a lockout could. Still sorry to lockout Abby too, but at least she got something out of the whole trip too.

I've been keeping v. busy with work lately, but things might just cool down. Colour Magic Street was next to what could be my first trash out. It's going over the cap, and I'm not sure what they'll want me to do, so I'm providing bids for it all though. If they approve it all, it'll get about $1,700 (minus supplies and dump fees). This is v. good for me because I need to pay my parents back and save for Los Angeles and consider getting a kitty.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: By My Side (3 Doors Down)

I love my job so far. There's blue sky, fresh air, and I love the wild birds calling. During mid-day, when everyone's at work, it's quiet except for the birds. It's like working in an aviary. :D

I had my second work order today. I mowed a lawn today. It was mostly dirt and the part that wasn't was horribly overgrown. It was the first time I used my lawnmower, and it works well. It was the first time I used the trimmer too, but I only skimmed the instructions and wasn't absolutely precise on the oil:gas ratio. I had to be pretty close, but it felt like the thing was going to explode in my hands. I need to read those instructions thoroughly now.

I went to Home Depot to buy a blower to remove the trimmings, and the Mexicans hanging out at the edge of the parking lot walked up to my truck. XD Sorry, Hombre, I play by the rules. The blower turned out to be corded instead of battery-powered, so I had to take it back. I ended up going home, getting a broom, and returning to sweep. It took the entire morning, but it looks a lot nicer now. I expected some initial difficulties, but now that I've got things set up more, the next order should be easier.

My third work order is in the same neighborhood, but this one had a sticker on the door saying it was illegal to enter, and there was no lockbox. I called the broker who told me that they had to evict some lady who refused to leave, and that sign was probably meant for her. Then they probably re-keyed to a non-standard code and removed his lockbox. I took the opportunity to get some keys myself, and I went to a locksmith and had them made. (Nope, didn't work.) I'm planning to go back tomorrow afternoon after the broker's re-keyed. It looks like a big job, but I'll figure it out.

My personalized FUTRAMA plates came in the mail today. So I ordered two license plate frames online that say YOU CAN'T PROVE/IT WON'T HAPPEN. The new blue plate looks great on my blue car. I'll show it off when I get the frames. =D

I also got my coveralls via FedEx today. They came addressed to Gold Leopard. The office manager, Girlie, signed for the package and called me. When I picked it up, she complimented me saying I'm still a young man and I own my own business. I guess owning a business at 25 (and starting it at 24) is kind of impressive. Good for me for doing something. BTW the coveralls (2) are gray and brown a la Red Dwarf. I'm thinking of finding a Red Dwarf arm patch to sew on them.

I worked on the shelves more today, but there's a ways to go on them still. I remember now how hard it is to make a straight-line precision cut with a hand saw. It takes a lot of time. I think if I were a tool, I'd be a hand saw. Not sure why, I guess it's maybe it's 'strong, necessary, and quite standard, yet needs constant guidance to work effectively.' Also, a handsaw must work harder to achieve the same results handed to someone else, which makes the job intrinsically valuable.

Current Mood: accomplished